Forgiveness
by SunRise19
Summary: He had no idea what he was doing, only that it needed to be done before he went on his next voyage.There are times in life where we all must somehow forgive those that have wronged us, no matter if we do not understand exactly why..PLZ RR!...COMPLETE


A/N: Hi all!

I'm back with a Pocahontas one-shot. I know it is long, however I hope all that read it are inspired as I was while writing this story.

I hope you will leave a review on your way out..Thank you! All reviews and compliments are very much appreciated.

As I said above, I was inspired to write this story after I have forgiven someone that truly hurt me in my past. This story is dedicated to those who need forgiveness and to those that need to forgive.

-…-….-…-…-…

Definition of forgiven: Stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

-….-….-…-…-….-

He had no idea what he was doing, only that it needed to be done before he went on his next voyage.

"Who do you wish to speak with Captain?" a young guard inquired of him as he stood outside the gate of London's tower.

"I wish to speak with the former governor of Jamestown," he replied as the guard stared blankly at him, "I wish to speak with John Ratcliffe."

"Ah," the man replied as he nodded in realization, "Just tell William he is on the third floor who you want to speak with. The prisoner's cells are to the-"

"I know where they are," John interrupted the young man as the gate was opened in order for him to enter, "Thank you for your help."

"No worries mate," the guard responded as the gate slowly creaked shut behind them, "Although I can't say I know why you would want to see him after he nearly killed you, however be my guest."

'Nor can I say exactly why.' John mused as he walked in to one of the buildings of London's tower.

After the wooden door was securely bolted behind the young man, it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. Tall lanterns lined the dirty walls as a dank smell assaulted his nostrils. The Captain sighed as he ran a hand throughout his blond hair, he starting to navigate the steep stairway that lead up towards the third floor.

'Although I can't say why you would want to see him after he nearly killed you.'

The guard's words rang throughout his mind as he ascended the stairs with a questioning heart.

'What am I doing? Why am I here?'

His new ship was leaving early tomorrow morning. He knew he should be going over the maps and preparing the quill and ink for his journey. He also knew he should be at home packing his possessions, knowledge of which made him chuckle for he did not have much.

'You did not have anything until you had her.'

The sudden voice in his mind halted him in his steps as he leaned against a grimy wall, momentarily stunned at the sudden yet obvious revelation.

'I know that, why must you torment me with this?'

'Why did you let her go?'

It seemed to him that his mind was at war, fighting for control over something that he himself did not have any power over.

'She left me, remember?'

'Why did you not fight for her? Where does your passion, your heart truly lie John Smith?'

The man let out a forlorn breath as he lowered his blue eyes to the dusty floor beneath his feet.

'Where does your passion and heart lie?'

His immediate response had been the sea and a life of worldly adventure. He loved exploring far off lands, discovering treasures unforeseen in England and meeting people that had the same drive.

'However, is it still the same?'

It had been for many years and voyages than he cared to remember and yet he still craved the adventure and the freedom it gave.

'However, do you long for it? Do you need it? Whose name do you utter in your sleep? It certainly is not the name of your ship.'

The little insistent voice had struck him to the core as he yelled out, "Stop the bloody questions!"

"Uh, sir?"

John snapped his head up to see a chubby man with a graying beard coming towards him in the murky light, "There is no one here mate. Are you drunk?"

It was this query that made the blond truly laugh although for what reason he could not tell, "No, no Sir I am not drunk. My name is Captain John Smith and I-"

"Ah, John Smith! I have heard some amazing stories about you. What can I do for you? Why in Heaven's name have you come to a place like this?"

"I don't know," the man answered truthfully, "I'm looking for a man named William. I was told he would be on the third floor."

"Ah," the older man gently smiled, "I be the only man named William here. Who have you come to see on the third floor? I hope it is not a debtor for you will never get your money back. Hell, if they can't pay the King's taxes they won't be paying you."

"I am not here for money," John countered as he tried to keep up with the surprisingly swift strides of William, "I'm here to visit a prisoner."

"Ah, and who do you wish to see on the third floor?"

"John Ratcliffe," the captain answered as they rounded a corner and came face to face with a door. The blond watched as for a moment William fumbled with some large keys before inserting one of them in to an equally large lock.

"The use to be King's right hand man," William chuckled as the two men stepped through the door, "He is near the end of that long line. You unfortunately can't miss him."

John cleared his throat and momentarily covered his face as the putrid smell of unwashed prisoners and dirty cells assaulted his nose.

"Thank you," the captain replied as he coughed and headed down the line of tiny cells.

"You'll get used to the smell," William said as the man chuckled behind him.

'I doubt that.' John thought as he inwardly shuddered at the horrible place he found himself; the man knowing he'd go mad if he had to spend more than a few days in the prison.

As he neared one of the last cells he could see Ratcliffe sitting as properly as he could give the sparse place that was now his residence.

Still unsure of what exactly he was doing there the man cleared his throat, "John Ratcliffe?"

The captain gazed on as the former governor raised his eyes and blinked, "Smith?"

"Hello," the captain replied as he then mentally kicked himself for such a stupid reply.

"I suppose you are here to gloat?"

"No," the word was out of his mouth before he could stop it, "There is nothing to gloat about this hell-hole that you are currently housed."

"I doubt you mean that," the other man sneered as he cleared his throat, "What the bloody hell do you want Smith?"

John lowered his eyes, unsure of how to respond to his former superior's question. After all, the man had tried to kill him not once but twice and above all of that he had forced him to leave behind the only woman that he had ever sincerely loved.

'He only made you do that once.'

The little insistent voice whispered in his mind which made the younger man wonder if he was not already crazy.

"The truth is," John began him trying to carefully choose his words, "I do not know why I am here. I presume that I came to see how you are holding up in this-"

"I am holding up just fine, can you not tell? His Majesty stops over for tea every other day or so since I have been here."

The Captain could not help the smirk or the laugh that escaped his lips after hearing that statement. The young man glanced around him, noticing that the men that were close to the pair had also heard and were laughing at the former governor.

"He brings us freshly baked cakes!" One of the men shouted which made the others laugh even harder as Ratcliffe glowered at the man on the other side of the barred door.

"Well," Ratcliffe spoke, "Now that you have gotten your amusement for the day you can leave-"

"Ratcliffe," John sharply interrupted him as he sighed, "I did not come here to amuse myself. The reason I came is so that I can talk to you."

"I do not owe you a damn thing."

'An apology would be nice.' John thought as he shuffled his feet.

"Listen to me," he started again the man trying and failing to explain his reasoning, "I know you did not mean to shoot me. I also know you meant to kill chief Powhaton and I could not let that happen."

At this Ratcliffe gave a small knowing smile, "You could not let me kill that savage for you wanted to protect his daughter. The savage woman who I have no doubt so easily lay beneath you in the forest and yet who so easily left you for another. Do I have that correct Smith?"

John clenched the grimy bars as he seethed on the inside, his eyes darkening with rage at the fool's audacity.

"How dare you…"

"How dare I do what? State the truth? Face it Smith, you were fooled by a harlot."

"She is not a harlot or a savage and she certainly did not lay with me! I am the one that…"

John stopped as his blue eyes locked on to nothing in particular behind Ratcliffe's head, "I let her leave with John Rolfe. That is my fault."

"Ah," Ratcliffe mocked as he tried to catch Smith's eye, "It is good to see you admitting something."

The Captain exhaled releasing the bars he taking a step back from the door as he wiped his hands on is trousers.

"Have you ever been in love Ratcliffe?"

The inquiry was out of his mouth before he knew it and John could not help as he stood gaping at the former governor. It seemed the other man had also been caught by surprise as his shocked expression conveyed.

"Excuse me?"

John released a breath that he had not realized he had been holding before shrugging, "I don't know. I nearly asked… Listen, I am sorry that is none of my concern."

At this confession the prisoner laughed, "You are apologizing to me?"

It did not take long for the captain to join with his own laughter, although for what exact reason he could not say. Perhaps it was the absurdity of his question or the fact that he was apologizing to the man that had nearly killed him.

Whatever it was, the two men stood laughing for a moment longer, it ending when both cleared their throats at the same time which resulted in a chuckle from one of them.

"Well, hell," John Smith said after a moment of silence, "I well, and I…"

He did not know what to say and it seemed Ratcliffe had not an idea either for the two men spent another period of time gazing at nothing in particular.

"Well…"

The captain placed his hands on the bars once more as his blue eyes met the brown orbs of the former governor, "Look, I am not sure what just happened here, however I can tell that it is good."

"What do you mean it is good?"

John shrugged, "I really don't know, I truly cannot explain it however I feel…"

A moment of silence followed as it seemed the prison had quieted for this conversation, "What do you feel?"

Ratcliffe inquired so softly that smith almost did not hear him, "I feel good. I feel joyful, happy and content at the same time. I, I think I can say…"

His words trailed off as a sudden revelation came to him as his eyes widened in realization, "I know I can say that I forgive you. I forgive you for all that has happened between us."

"What the hell are you going on about?"

John smiled as he became aware of what seemed like a huge weight being lifted off his shoulders. He felt freer than he had felt in years, more open than standing on the deck of a ship with the breeze combing through his hair.

"I forgive you."

John almost chuckled as he watched Radcliffe's jaw drop, "What?"

"I forgive you," John repeated as a huge smile graced his face, "I forgive you."

"Have you gone mad? Do you not remember all the things I have done to you? Do not come spouting some holy-"

"I forgive you," the captain more firmly said as he took a step back, "I pray that one day you can do the same."

It was with these words the captain left the area, giving his thanks to William as the old man unlocked the door. It didn't take long for John to find the stairs that would lead him outside, and the man could not stop beaming as he descended the staircase with a lighter heart than he had going up.

-…-…-…-…-…-

The captain sighed as he placed the dirty dishes on a trey as he glanced out the small window of his rented room at the inn. After leaving the tower he had hurried to his flat where he had readied himself for the upcoming voyage.

It was now late in the evening, the man barely making out the form of his ship that was currently sitting at the dock not to far away.

The captain snapped out of his gazing as he heard a knock at the door. After wiping a tired hand across his eyes and straightening up he gave his permission for the door to be opened.

"The barkeeper said you had taken your dinner upstairs."

John turned to face the young barmaid that now walked in his room, "He sent me to fetch the dishes captain Smith."

"Tell him that I still think his food is the best," John replied, "Thank you for taking these."

He held out the trey to her and smiled as she took it in her small hands, "I will tell him sir. I hear that you are leaving tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, a bit after sunrise."

"I see," the woman began as she moved closer towards the captain, "Before you go, would you like some company tonight? I know that I would be worth your-"

"It is tempting," John found himself saying as he briefly glanced at her lanky build with red curls falling in waves down her back, "However I do have things I must attend to before I leave."

"Are you sure? I mean, being on a ship without a woman-"

"Yes," John quickly interrupted his body responding in ways he did not want it to, "Tell your employer I said thank you."

"I will sir," she replied as the woman turned and briskly left the room shutting the door however not before giving him a longing look.

John released a breath that he did not know he was holding as he readied his belongings for the upcoming voyage and himself for bed. The young man sighing as he lay in the coolness of the sheets, his blue eyes closing as his fatigued body drifted off to sleep.

-….-…-

He did not know how this was even possible. His rational mind tried to comprehend everything and yet all comprehension was lost as she grabbed his hand.

"Quick," her command was to the point and yet held a playful edge to it, "Come this way!"

"What way is that?"

"Run with me!"

One glance at her grinning countenance quelled any farther questions as the two of them took off running in the lush forest. John laughing in delight as he tripped over a log, sending the couple to the ground where a cushion of soft leaves broke their fall.

"This is amazing," the woman panted as she lay beside him, "I love this time of year, the smell of the forest, the leaves in your hair, I love you John Smith."

"Pocahontas," John inhaled her essence as he grabbed her blithe figure and covered her lips with his own. The two of them feverishly kissed, their limbs becoming tangled in one another as they broke apart in order to breathe.

"Do you not love me?"

It took a moment for her question to sink in to his mind and heart as he gazed up at her earnest expression, "Do I not love you? I love you more than words can convey, I love you more than that blasted ship, and I need you more than I need my very life. You are my love Pocahontas, I have waited forever to properly tell you, I have wanted nothing more than to hold you, I should have fought for you, should have stopped you from leaving with John Rolfe. Pocahontas, I love you."

There was no reply from the woman in the forest.

"Pocahontas, Pocahontas?"

-….-….-….-…-

A sudden jolt was what had awakened John Smith as he found himself tangled in the sheets of his bed in the rented London room.

Breathing hard, the young captain did not even have time to process where he was until he heard what the man knew had awakened him.

A concise wrapping noise was coming from the outside of his door. The captain groaned in frustration as he unceremoniously got out of the small bed. He barely had time to throw on his discarded robe before the sharp knock came again.

"Captain Smith, are you in that room?" A man's voice reached his ears as he tiredly blinked his eyes before yanking open the door.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"I know it is very early sir, I know you aren't scheduled to leave for another five hours however I have just received an urgent message from the king about your voyage."

John watched the younger man probe around in his sack before pulling out an envelope with King James's official mark on it.

"Here it is," the man said as he all but thrust the paper in to the captain's hand, "He said you must follow the instructions to the letter and that you must see him at half past nine in the morning."

"I am set to leave this sunrise-"

"It is the king's orders. Read the letter and tell me what your answer will be so as I can relay it to his Majesty."

Very much annoyed, John ripped open the letter and blinked in surprise as his heart went from questioning, to doubtful and then to outright hardened.

"Tell his Majesty I cannot go to this place. Tell him I will go anywhere but there."

"Sir, James knows of how it was your quick thinking that stopped a war between the Powhaton's and us English. Can you not honor him with a simple visit?"

"It is not that simple…"

"Do you want me to tell his Majesty that you are declining to obey his orders? Do you not realize?-"

"Alright," John snapped as his weary eyes traveled towards the tiny window, "I will go if it means I can now sleep. Have a nice…"

His voice trailed off as the younger man was already heading down the hallway, no doubt in a hurry to get back to the palace before the captain had changed his mind.

'Perhaps you will see the wedding of Pocahontas to John Rolfe.'

"Shut up!" John yelled as out of frustration, anger, longing and love he slammed the door shut before locking it once again. The man uncaring of the book that he had knocked off the side table onto the floor.

It did not take long for the captain to find himself back in the warm bed, the crumpled up notice from the king lying on the floor beside him.

As John flipped over to his other side, he forced his blue eyes to shut to the ever neat king's script on the first page of his letter.

'I desire you to go to Jamestown in the land of Virginia in order that you may deliver much needed supplies to the settlement that you have helped create. I am sure you are looking forward to seeing the progress that you have made for your king and country.'

-….-….-….-….-…-

It was now official and Captain John Smith was heading back to Jamestown Virginia in a few short hours. As the young man stood in the cabin of his small ship he began to unpack his meager belongings.

It was not until he had pulled out the book that he had so thoughtlessly knocked over the night before that a passage had caught his eye.

Luke chapter 23 verse 34: Jesus said, "Father, Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

A long pause followed as the captain sighed before placing down the Bible back in to his bag.

"I have forgiven Ratcliffe," the man whispered, "Help me Lord with the rest."

As John Smith went up on the deck of his ship, the captain could not help but grin up at the sky and the wind that tossed his golden hair.

As he inhaled the fresh salty air of the sea the man somehow knew that this was the start of a journey that was more than a place to go on a map.

-…-…-…-….-End of, "Forgiveness."-…-…-.-


End file.
